The Relief Society Presidency also acted out a skit about when it is appropriate to take on someone else's burdens and when it is not. If you click on "My Burdens" Skit you will be able to read and print off the entire skit if you desire. Below is a further discussion of this topic from the RS presidency that you can thoughtfully and prayerfully consider.
Charity Never Faileth
Sister Holland stated: I think in the hearts of women is the desire to serve others in need. Relief Society provides the perfect opportunity for her to serve because there are always others in need. Likewise, every woman at some time or other will need to be served.
Brother Holland stated: Relief Society Service is not limited to serving members of the Church….knows no borders. (Ensign March 2011)
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In the scriptures we are commanded to mourn with those that mourn, comfort those that stand in need of comfort and bear one another’s burdens (Mosiah 18:8-9). We are commanded to help lift and strengthen others (D&C 81:5).
At times our desire to serve and help others can find us doing for others what they can do for themselves and meeting a want versus a need. When we do this, the person we are serving may become weaker and we may become frustrated. When we serve those that truly have a need, both parties are uplifted and edified.
In the dictionary and NEED is defined as: require, have to, essential, poverty. WANT is defined as: desire, care for, aspire, choose. Within want NEED is also defined.
Our goal is to provide Charity (pure love of Christ) in a way that uplifts and edifies others, turns them to Christ, and increases self reliancy.
When a need comes to your attention I encourage you to step back and follow the promptings of the spirit.
Some questions you may want to ask yourself are:
1. Does this friend have the skills to do what needs to be done? Have they been taught how to do it? If not, we may want to provide an opportunity for learning. Remember it is better to teach a man to fish so he can eat for a lifetime, versus giving him a fish and only eating for one meal.
2. Is the friend physically capable of completing the task? Is this short term or long term help that is needed.
3. Does the friend have the times/resources to complete/do what needs to be done?
If they have the skills, are physically capable and have the time and resources, we may want to spend our time encouraging them and letting them know we have faith in them to take care of them selves. Sometimes they may just need friendship or someone checking in on them.
If they don’t, then we may need to ask ourselves, what can we do to help lift and strengthen them.
We don’t ever want to treat someone’s WANT as a NEED or out of Guilt. As this will not help lift or strengthen them. We only want to fill a WANT when it is as a surprise, show of love or appreciation.
Thoughts to Consider:
“God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that meets our needs. Therefore it is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom. The people of the Church need each other’s strength, support, and leadership in a community of believers as an enclave of disciples” President Kimball.
• What is the difference between Entitlement/Enabling and Empowering.
When we empower people we help them become more self-reliant and independent in all areas of their life. When we enable and entitle we make them weaker and less independent.
• When we fix people’s problems are they learning to rely on the “arm of flesh” or on their Savior?
• Is making people weaker and less independent being truly Christlike?
• When we enable people what are we stealing from them? What is the message we send?
• When we set boundaries with friends what could happen? Concerns?
• When there are children involved, when do we step in, when do we stay back?
• What are some things we can do that are helpful?
Message by Relief Society Presidency
